As happy as I am,
I am in more pain than I ever remember experiencing
In my life.
I think I spent so much of my life avoiding the pain.
Not knowing what to do with it.
How to handle it.
Who to talk to about it.
How to process through it.
How to get it out of my system.
Had no clue.
I wasn’t taught how to deal with pain
Just how to avoid dealing with it.
Then living in America, its no better
Where there is a pill for every ill..
What the heck...
Aren’t we responsible for dealing with our own stuff?
So, I decided I would go to myself for my answers.
Finding a way to deal with this pain.
Where we live; what we must exist in, the times we live in.
It’s made me so vulnerable.
I cry a lot.
I release these old things my soul is wanting closure with.
Still not having all the answers.
But I listen.
I am my souls slave.
She tells me where to go.
I no longer avoid that inner voice that wanted to be heard.
Once I let her start talking, she hasn’t shut up...
She was shut down for too many years and refuses to hold it in any longer!
Allowing myself time.
Working super hard to love and be patient with me.
And the world.
It took a long time to get like this.
It takes a while to undo it all.
Not avoiding the uncomfortable details of my life anymore.
What she wants.
No longer sucked into this world and it’s drama.
True to my journey.
Accelerating the transformation of my soul.
One day at a time.
Processing my pain.